I’m so glad to be writing this now. It’s been on my heart for a while, but I couldn’t quite find the words. After much prayer, chatting with friends, and the sermon preached at our church this morning I finally feel ready. If this is something you have gone through, are going through now, or experience in the future, I hope it is an encouragement to you that you are not alone and that you will come out on the other side of this stronger and still loved by the Father.

I will say for everyone this past year and a half has been hard. Everyone has had different things arise that were tough that they had to endure. For my family, we experienced multiple losses – a family member and a pregnancy. I remember many times this past year and a half specifically feeling “on fire” for the Lord and praying that He would plant me somewhere and help me do Kingdom work. I remember brainstorming the thoughts that were in my mind with a friend that had that same desire from the Lord and feeling so excited for what the next 6 months would entail. Then life happened. As our guest preacher this morning called it, “real oppression from the enemy”. That’s what happens right? We are warned in God’s Word that in life our battles will not be only with flesh and blood. There is spiritual warfare happening in the world all around us. Throughout my life I felt that almost every time I was getting closer to Jesus, the enemy would do SOMETHING to push me 3-5 steps backwards. He fights, pushes, and discourages us. Friend, you are not alone. Where our flesh may fail us, God picks us up.

The last few months I have felt like I had completely lost my desire to do anything productive, especially for the Lord. I would look at my Bible, see a women’s meeting pop up, but be too sick or tired to attempt to read or attend. My husband and I by God’s goodness are expecting again and so far this pregnancy has matured to 18 weeks today! However, it has been a doozy. I have been extremely sick with first trimester symptoms on top of multiple respiratory illnesses that put me down for the count. It was rough. As someone who struggles with finding their worth in their productivity, I suffered mentally and emotionally. I sunk into a semi-depression that left me feeling weak and worthless. By divine intervention, I have a cluster of women pouring life into me, giving me grace, loving me, and reminding me that God is greater than anything we face here on earth.

This morning in church we had a guest preacher speak about oppression from the enemy and how to overcome it. It is REAL!! Everyone has trials, but because we belong to God our Father, we can claim victory over the enemy in Jesus name!! I’m so thankful for His sacrifice for me and the freedom found in His name. When you are feeling lost or lonely in life, remember where you can find truth about who you are and what you were created for -> from God -> in His Word! We are never alone. Just as Jesus was tempted by the enemy, so will we be.  He defeated the enemy with God’s Word, and His Word tells us we can, too.  Confess to God on your knees, in your car, at the alter.. wherever that YOU NEED HIM. It’s okay to let Him know how you are feeling because He is our friend, our comforter, and our refuge. I am so thankful that HE NEVER LEAVES US! Even though we fail (and boy do I), He never has and never will. Find hope in that and praise Him for it. He will restore your fire, my friend. It may not happen overnight, and He is still working on me, but I am so thankful for His mercy and grace. He will never give up on me, and friend, He won’t give up on you either.pre